Raising ten children is a rare and ambitious endeavor that requires meticulous planning, resilience, and abundant resources. Historically, large families were more common, but today the average U.S. family has around two children . This comprehensive guide covers every dimension of growing a family to 12 members (two parents and ten kids), including how to achieve a large family, living arrangements, health considerations, finances, education, daily logistics, legal/cultural factors, and real-life insights from families who have thrived with 10+ kids.

1. Biological and Adoption Routes

Building a family of ten children can happen through biological births, adoption, or a combination. Each route comes with its own considerations in terms of feasibility, timing, cost, and legal restrictions. Below are the primary pathways to a very large family:

• Natural Conception and Birth: Many large families simply grow one child at a time. However, having 10 biological children typically means starting childbearing early and spacing pregnancies wisely. Female fertility declines significantly with age (especially after mid-30s) , and health risks rise for closely spaced pregnancies. Medical experts recommend spacing pregnancies about 18–24 months apart to reduce risks to mother and baby . This spacing implies that having ten single births could span 15–20 years. Some families do achieve this (for example, one well-known U.S. couple had 19 natural children over 21 years), but it requires extraordinary maternal health and support. Parents pursuing this route should plan for consistent prenatal care, personal health maintenance, and possibly accepting that fertility challenges might arise as they age.
• Fertility Treatments (IVF): In vitro fertilization (IVF) can assist parents who have difficulty conceiving or who start having children later. IVF allows implantation of embryos into the uterus and can sometimes lead to twins or triplets. However, modern IVF guidelines limit the number of embryos transferred to avoid high-order multiples . The famous “Octomom” case, where a woman had octuplets via IVF, involved implanting 12 embryos – far above the recommended standard of 1–2 – and was widely condemned by medical experts . IVF is also expensive (often costing $15,000–$25,000 per cycle in the U.S.), so using it repeatedly to have many children can be financially and physically taxing. It may help some families reach a large size by overcoming infertility, but it is not a simple shortcut to ten kids.
• Surrogacy: If pregnancy is not feasible or safe for the mother (for example, after multiple C-sections or health issues), gestational surrogacy is an option. In gestational surrogacy, another woman carries the baby, usually using the parents’ egg and sperm or donor gametes. This route can grow a family even when the parents can’t or shouldn’t undergo further pregnancies. Some extremely large families have used multiple surrogates in parallel to have children close in age (notably some celebrities and public figures). Surrogacy is very costly (often exceeding $100,000 per birth including medical and legal fees) and legal constraints vary by state. In the U.S., most states permit compensated surrogacy, but a few historically banned or restricted it (for example, Michigan long outlawed paid surrogacy agreements, though a new law in 2025 lifted that ban) . Anyone considering surrogacy to reach a large family should consult specialized attorneys about state laws and be prepared for complex contracts.
• Domestic Adoption: Adopting children domestically (within your country) is a common way to grow a big family, whether through private infant adoption or adopting from foster care. Adoption gives a loving home to children in need, but there are practical limitations. Private agencies often have their own rules – for instance, one major U.S. agency requires no more than two children already in the home when adopting a newborn , to ensure parents aren’t overwhelmed. State laws can also cap the number of minors in a household for adoptive families; some states like Maryland and Texas limit adoptive households to 6 children under 18 (with possible exceptions for sibling groups), while others allow up to 8. Adopting through foster care may allow larger families, especially if keeping sibling groups together, but home studies will assess whether you have adequate space and time for so many kids. Adopting even one child involves background checks, training, and waiting periods; adopting multiple or doing it repeatedly for a total of 10 children is a long-term process. Additionally, domestic infant adoption costs can range from $20,000–$50,000 in agency and legal fees, whereas foster-to-adopt is usually low cost but comes with the challenge of caring for children who may have experienced trauma.
• International Adoption: Some families look overseas to adopt children, which can also help reach a total of ten. International adoption has declined in recent years (many countries have reduced the number of children available to foreign adopters), and it comes with strict rules. Notably, several countries place family size restrictions on who can adopt. For example, China typically allows no more than 5 children already in the home for adoptive applicants; South Korea allows up to 4, and India up to 3 . Other countries like Colombia or Haiti do not specify a limit on existing children , but U.S. parents must still meet their own state’s requirements. International adoption is expensive ($30,000+), involves international travel, and requires adherence to U.S. immigration law for visas. It can be a wonderful way to form a large multicultural family, but prospective parents should research each country’s policies and prepare for a rigorous, sometimes years-long process.

Key Takeaway: Many families with 10 children use a combination of these paths. For instance, parents might have a few biological kids, then adopt siblings from foster care, and perhaps have another via IVF or surrogacy. It’s important to consider the cumulative strain: multiple pregnancies can impact the mother’s health, while multiple adoptions demand extensive emotional and financial resources. Always ensure you have the energy, health, and support for each additional child. Consulting fertility specialists, adoption professionals, and other large-family parents can help create a realistic “big family plan.” And remember, nature can surprise you – there are cases of naturally conceived quadruplets or other multiples that suddenly bump a family from, say, 6 kids to 10! Always be prepared for unplanned outcomes and stay flexible.

2. Housing and Transportation

The logistics of living space and transportation are major practical considerations for a family of 12. You will need to rethink the average family home and car, scaling them up to accommodate a dozen people safely and comfortably.

Housing Needs

Bringing up ten children under one roof means space becomes a precious commodity. While there is no universal rule for how large a home should be, large families generally need more bedrooms and living areas than a typical family. Here are key points on housing for a family of 12:

• Bedrooms: Ideally, children should not be overcrowded. Many families with 10 kids live in 5+ bedroom houses, often with children sharing rooms in pairs. In fact, some state regulations (for foster/adoptive homes) give a good benchmark: for example, California suggests no more than two children per bedroom, and that opposite-sex children over age 5 have separate rooms . Following that guideline, a family of 10 children might aim for at least five bedrooms (e.g. boys in some rooms, girls in others, two per room). Bunk beds are a popular solution to maximize floor space when multiple kids share. Some large families get creative, turning dens or dining rooms into bedrooms, or finishing basements and attics as extra rooms – as long as they meet safety codes (proper exits, ventilation, etc.). Keep in mind as children grow into teens, they value privacy, so having enough room to spread out becomes important to avoid tension.
• Bathrooms: Equally critical is the number of bathrooms. Mornings and bedtimes in a household of 12 can be hectic. Having at least 2–3 bathrooms (or more) is highly recommended. Large families often stagger wake-up times or enforce schedules for older vs. younger kids to ease bathroom traffic. Installing double sinks or an extra shower can also help. If building or renovating a home for a large family, prioritize extra bathrooms – it can be life-changing for daily routines.
• Living and Dining Areas: Communal spaces like the kitchen, dining room, and living room should accommodate the whole family. This might mean an oversized dining table (or two tables) to seat everyone at meals, and lots of sturdy chairs or benches. Kitchens in large-family homes often have extra refrigerators or freezers (bulk shopping is common, so storage is needed for large quantities of food). A spacious living/family room is important so that everyone can gather for family time. Some families convert garages or basements into playrooms or homeschooling classrooms to give more elbow room. Outdoor space is another plus – a big backyard or safe outdoor play area helps kids burn off energy without leaving home. While not every family of 12 can afford a McMansion, making the most of every square foot and employing organizational systems (built-in shelving, color-coded bins for each child’s belongings, etc.) will keep a crowded house functional.
• Safety and Comfort: More people in the house means more wear and tear. Large families should child-proof thoroughly (with ten kids, at least a few will be toddlers at any given time). Also consider heating/cooling capacity – lots of bodies can warm up a room, but you also want good ventilation (perhaps ceiling fans or an HVAC system that can handle a bigger load). Fire safety is crucial: ensure you have enough smoke detectors, plan fire escape routes for a large group, and maybe invest in a home security system for peace of mind. Comfort-wise, it helps to set up quiet corners or “zones” in the house – for example, a reading nook for kids who want calm amid the hustle, or a mini office space for parents – so individuals can get a break from the crowd when needed.

Transportation

Getting ten children (plus two parents) from point A to B is a logistical project in itself. A normal 5-seater car or even a standard minivan (7–8 seats) won’t suffice for 12 people. Here’s how large families tackle transportation:

• Large-Capacity Vehicles: Most families with 10 kids opt for 12- or 15-passenger vans or mini-buses. Common choices in the U.S. include the Ford Transit Wagon, Chevrolet Express/GMC Savana, Mercedes-Benz Sprinter, or Nissan NV passenger van – all of which have models that seat 12 to 15 people. For example, the Ford Transit Passenger Wagon can be configured with seating for up to 15 passengers . These vans essentially look like small buses and have bench seating. One mother of 10 noted, “I drive a 15-passenger van” to fit her family. Another large family in Australia said even a van wasn’t enough – getting around requires a mini bus for their brood of ten . The advantage of a 12/15-passenger van is that the whole family can travel together to outings, and there’s space for car seats, strollers, and gear. The downside is these vans are big (parking can be challenging), gas mileage is poor, and they can be expensive. Some families purchase them used or opt for slightly older models to save cost. Insurance for a large van may also be higher than a regular car, so budget accordingly.
• Multiple Vehicles: Not every family wants to drive a huge van all the time. An alternative is having two vehicles – for example, two minivans or an SUV + minivan – and splitting the kids between them with two drivers. This offers flexibility (one parent can take some of the kids to sports practice while the other takes the rest to a different activity). The obvious drawback is you can’t all travel together easily, and you’ll double the fuel and maintenance costs. Some large families use the two-car strategy for daily logistics but rent a big van for rare occasions when everyone needs to go in one vehicle (like a vacation). It’s also worth noting that as kids become teens with driver’s licenses, they can help drive siblings – but that’s many years down the line.
• Car Seats and Safety: Transporting many young children means dealing with multiple car seats and boosters. By law in the U.S., infants and toddlers must be in rear-facing or forward-facing car seats, and older children in boosters until a certain age/height. A large passenger van can accommodate many car seats, but you’ll need to plan the layout (for instance, who can climb into the back rows, and ensuring you can safely install each seat). It may not be possible to fit ten safety seats at once, so in reality a family of 12 will have a mix of some teens or adults who don’t need car seats. Still, it’s common that large families will have 3-5 kids in car seats or boosters at the same time. Parents often assign seats and have a loading/unloading routine to avoid chaos. Practice and patience are required – expect that buckling in everyone can take several minutes (large-family moms joke that just getting ready to leave the house is a major event).
• Maintenance and Backup: With heavy use of vehicles (imagine the mileage of daily school drop-offs, grocery runs for a household of 12, etc.), be diligent about maintenance. Regularly service brakes, tires, etc., because the van is your lifeline. It’s also wise to have some backup transportation plan – for example, if the big van breaks down, do you have someone who can lend a couple of cars, or can you use public transport in a pinch? Some families keep an older second car around for emergencies or use ride-sharing services for individual trips if not everyone needs to go. Living in a city with good public transit can help, but realistically, few transit systems can easily accommodate two adults with ten young children in tow.

In summary, housing and transport are two areas where going big is necessary when you have ten kids. Plan on a larger-than-average home (or a very ingeniously organized one) and a vehicle that’s essentially a small bus. These investments ensure that your big family can live together comfortably and move about safely. Many large families say that a spacious home and a reliable large van are the two best purchases they ever made, as they reduce daily stress by providing room for everyone.

3. Health and Wellness

Managing the health and wellness of a dozen people is a huge responsibility. This spans physical health (from pregnancy and childbirth through pediatric care) and mental health (stress, emotional needs, and family dynamics). In a family of 12, parents must care for their own well-being while monitoring ten growing children, each with unique health needs.

Parental Health Considerations

• Maternal Health (Pregnancy & Postpartum): If the mother will be bearing multiple children, her health is paramount. Pregnancy is physically demanding, and doing it 10 times (or even a few times with multiples) can tax the body. Women who have many pregnancies are at higher risk for issues like anemia, hypertension, gestational diabetes, and uterine prolapse. It’s crucial to have good prenatal care for each pregnancy and follow medical advice on supplements (iron, calcium, etc.), diet, and exercise. Adequate spacing between pregnancies gives the body time to recover; experts recommend roughly two years between births for optimal maternal and infant health . In practice, many large-family moms don’t wait that long (financial or personal timelines may press them to have kids closer together), but they should then be extra cautious with nutrition and rest. After each birth, postpartum recovery should be taken seriously – complications like hemorrhage or postpartum depression can be more likely if mom’s body is worn out. One mother of ten admitted she experienced hyperemesis gravidarum (severe vomiting) during multiple pregnancies and also faced postpartum depression . Having a support system during postpartum periods (spouse, relatives, or hired help) is vital so the mother can heal while caring for newborns and the other children. If building a family via adoption or surrogacy instead, physical recovery might not be an issue, but adjusting to a new child still takes an emotional toll and a period of family adjustment.
• Mental Health and Stress Management: Parenting ten children is naturally stressful – there will be noise, mess, and constant demands on your attention. Parents need to safeguard their mental health to avoid burnout. It’s easy to neglect self-care when you’re busy with kids, but burnout is very real (as one mom of 10 quipped, “Burnout is real… meeting all the kids’ needs doesn’t leave much time for me” ). Both parents should try to get adequate sleep (tricky, but aim for a schedule that allows some rest – perhaps parents taking shifts if there are infants), maintain a healthy diet, and find small moments of downtime. Setting boundaries is important; for example, having a strict kids’ bedtime so that you have an hour or two in the late evening to decompress can help maintain sanity. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or say no to optional commitments. Large family parents often rely on one another – tag-teaming so each parent gets occasional breaks (one watches the brood while the other goes for a walk, reads, or exercises). If signs of depression or chronic anxiety appear, seeking professional help (therapy or counseling) is wise and not a sign of failure. Some large families set up a “date night” for the parents once in a while, hiring a sitter or asking grandparents to watch the kids. Remember: a healthy parent is a better parent. Taking care of your own health isn’t selfish; it enables you to care for your ten children.
• Health Insurance and Medical Logistics: With so many family members, medical appointments will be frequent. It’s not unusual that in any given week, someone might have a pediatric check-up, someone else a dental cleaning, and another an urgent sick visit. Keeping track of immunization schedules, dental visits every 6 months, vision exams, etc., for 10 kids is practically a full-time job. Many parents create a medical calendar or use apps to track appointments and vaccination records. It helps to have a pediatrician who knows your family well. Also consider that illnesses can spread quickly in a large household – if one kid catches a stomach bug or flu, it may go through the whole family. Be prepared with a well-stocked medicine cabinet (thermometers, basic medications, lots of cleaning supplies!) and contingency plans if both parents get sick simultaneously. Health insurance is a must – ensure your plan covers all your dependents (family plans typically do, but out-of-pocket costs will add up). Large families often hit their deductible or out-of-pocket maximum every year due to sheer volume of medical visits, so factor that into your budget.
• Physical Fitness: Finding time for exercise can be hard with a big family, but staying fit will help you keep up with active kids. Parents can try incorporating family walks, playing sports with the kids, or even using the home as a “gym” (one mom might do yoga in the living room early before the kids wake up, or a dad might install a pull-up bar in a doorway). Some large families turn chores into exercise (yard work, running around at the park with the whole crew). If budget allows, investing in a treadmill or exercise bike at home can let a parent work out while toddlers nap. Keeping fit will reduce stress and improve stamina – which you’ll definitely need.

Children’s Health Considerations

• Individual Healthcare Needs: Ten children mean ten different little bodies and brains developing. Some may have special health needs – statistically, with that many kids, there’s a chance one or more could have conditions like asthma, allergies, ADHD, autism, or other chronic issues. Be prepared to navigate the healthcare system for any specialists or therapies needed. For example, if one child has autism, they may need occupational therapy appointments weekly; if another has a peanut allergy, you’ll need EpiPens and an emergency plan. Multiply special needs by a few kids, and your schedule and budget can be heavily impacted. It’s important to give each child the medical attention they require, even though it’s time-consuming. Keep detailed records for each child. Some parents maintain a binder or digital file per kid with their medical history, to avoid mix-ups.
• Preventive Care: Staying on top of preventive care will save a lot of trouble. This includes vaccinations (getting all the kids their shots on schedule to prevent outbreaks of diseases in your large brood), regular dental cleanings (to avoid major dental work later), and instilling healthy habits. Teach your kids hand-washing and hygiene early – in a big family, hygiene is key to stop the constant spread of colds and infections. You might implement routines like everyone washes hands as soon as they come home, or vitamins for all at breakfast. Good nutrition is part of health too (see Financial Planning for food strategies). Large families often eat home-cooked meals out of necessity, which can actually be healthier than frequent takeout. Emphasize fruits, vegetables, and balanced diets for the kids so they grow strong.
• Mental and Emotional Health of Children: With ten children, parents must be mindful that each child gets attention and feels loved. It’s easy for a quieter child to “get lost in the shuffle” when siblings are always around. Make it a point to have brief one-on-one interactions regularly – even a 5-minute chat at bedtime with each kid, or taking one child on errands as a special outing. Sibling rivalries will happen, as will cliques and pairings among the kids. Monitoring their emotional well-being is as important as physical health. Some children might feel they don’t get as much affection or validation in a large family; parents can counter this by celebrating each child’s achievements and setting aside “special time” occasionally (for example, each parent takes a different child out for ice cream on a rotating schedule). In terms of mental health services, be aware that teens or even younger kids in any family might face issues like anxiety or depression. In a big family, they might hesitate to speak up (not wanting to burden already busy parents), so create an environment where kids can talk about their feelings. If a child seems withdrawn or overly angry, don’t dismiss it as just one of many – address it. Counseling can be beneficial for kids too; large families shouldn’t stigmatize seeking outside help if needed.
• Family Bonds and Social Skills: There are wellness benefits to a large family as well. Children in big families often have built-in friends and learn social skills like sharing and cooperation early. They may feel supported by having many siblings – always someone to play with or talk to. One of the joys noted by large family parents is witnessing strong sibling bonds; older ones might mentor the younger, and younger kids often idolize the older ones. This camaraderie can bolster each child’s mental health, as they feel part of a team. During tough times (say, a family crisis or a loss), having a big family means there are more people to lean on – siblings comfort each other and rally together. Fostering a team spirit (e.g. “We All Help Each Other” as a family motto) can turn the sheer number of kids into a source of resilience and emotional wellness for everyone.

In summary, health and wellness in a family of 12 is about being proactive and organized. The parents’ well-being sets the tone – healthy, rested parents will manage the tribe much better than burned-out ones. Meanwhile, each child’s health needs must be tended to without neglect. It’s a juggling act, but with good routines (like scheduled medical visits, daily hygiene practices, and time for emotional check-ins), a large family can thrive holistically. Many parents of big families say the chaos is constant, but so are the hugs, laughter, and rewards of seeing all their children grow up healthy and happy.

4. Financial Planning

Finances are often the make-or-break factor for having a large family. It’s no secret that raising children is expensive – and ten children will multiply those costs significantly. However, big families also develop clever budgeting tricks and benefit from some economies of scale. This section will break down the costs of raising 10 kids, outline strategies to afford it, and highlight tax benefits or assistance programs that can help.

The Cost of Raising Ten Children

How much does it really cost to raise a child? Various estimates exist. A recent analysis by the Brookings Institution estimated about $310,000 (in 2017 dollars, adjusted for inflation) to raise one child from birth to age 17 in a middle-income family . More recent data in 2023, which accounts for high inflation, put the average cost closer to $17,000–$22,000 per year per child, or roughly $380,000 over 18 years . And that doesn’t include college! If you simply multiplied that by 10 children, you’d get a staggering $3.8 million. The good news is that large families don’t spend that full amount on each additional child – there are economies of scale and cost-sharing that bring the average per-child cost down somewhat. For instance, USDA data show that in a two-parent family, having a third child typically drives parents to spend about 22% less per child compared to a two-child family , because siblings share bedrooms, clothing, toys, etc. In other words, your 10th child won’t individually cost as much as your first. But the overall financial burden is still very high.

To understand where the money goes, consider the major expense categories for child-rearing in a U.S. family budget. The table below illustrates the breakdown of costs for one child (as a percentage of total child-rearing expenses):

Expense Category	Approx. % of total cost per child
Housing (share of rent or mortgage, utilities, furniture, etc.)	~29%
Food (groceries and dining out)	~18%
Child care & Education (daycare, school tuition, supplies)	~16%
Transportation (family vehicle costs attributable to child, gas, insurance)	~15%
Health care (medical premiums & out-of-pocket for child)	~9%
Miscellaneous (toys, entertainment, hobbies, personal care)	~7%
Clothing	~6%

Housing and food are by far the largest slices . For a family of 12, you will likely see these same categories, just scaled up. However, large families might allocate spending a bit differently. For example, housing might not increase proportionally with each child – ten kids can share a house that is perhaps 2-3 times the size of a typical family home, not 10 times. So per child, housing cost may be lower in a big family (especially if you already own a home and just make do with less space per person). Food costs, on the other hand, tend to scale more directly with each additional mouth to feed, though bulk buying can yield some savings. A mother of 10 described her grocery bill as “the size of many people’s mortgages,” about $3,000 per month on food for her family . Indeed, feeding 12 people is like running a small restaurant – you’ll likely be buying gallons of milk, huge bags of cereal, cases of diapers at times, etc. Below we discuss how to manage these costs.

Budgeting Strategies for a Large Family

1. Live Below Your Means (Scaling Up Cautiously): With a large family, it’s crucial to have a solid budget and stick to it. One or two high incomes can certainly support ten kids (for example, some large-family parents are doctors, business owners, etc.), but even modest-income families have made it work through frugality. Plan big purchases carefully – for instance, you might buy a used 12-passenger van rather than a new one to save money, or choose a home in an area with a lower cost of living to afford more space. Avoid excessive debt; with many kids, an economic downturn or job loss could be devastating, so maintain an emergency fund. Some families consider life insurance on parents essential when so many dependents are involved.

2. Buy in Bulk and Use Economies of Scale: Large families buy wholesale and in bulk whenever possible. Warehouse clubs (Costco, Sam’s Club) or bulk sections of stores will be your friends. Purchasing staples in large quantities – big sacks of rice, multipacks of canned goods, family packs of meat to freeze – can reduce the per-unit cost of food significantly. Meal planning is critical; one large family mom said having a weekly meal plan is mandatory and creativity with the food budget is essential . Cooking at home is a must – restaurant meals for 12 are extremely expensive, so they should be rare treats. It’s common for large families to make large casseroles, stews, pastas, and other cost-effective, scalable dishes (often doubling recipes). Additionally, children can share many items: clothes (via hand-me-downs), toys, books, even bikes or sports gear. Rather than buying each child new things, pass items down the line. One mom of 10 said her family is very resourceful, using hand-me-down clothes and shoes, and “we try to use everything in our pantry before going to the store” . This minimize waste. Furthermore, having many kids allows you to take advantage of bulk discounts – for example, buying a family museum membership or family pass to a pool is cheaper per person than individual tickets; some entertainment venues have “family rates” that assume maybe 2–4 kids, but it’s worth asking if they’ll extend them for bigger broods.

3. Thrift and Reuse: Large families often become masters of thrifting. Shop secondhand for kids’ clothes, toys, and baby equipment. Thrift stores, consignment sales, Facebook Marketplace, hand-me-downs from friends – all can clothe and equip your kids at a fraction of retail cost. Given how fast kids grow, buying new for each child is impractical. Also, save items to reuse: the crib, highchair, and baby clothes from your first child can be used for the next nine if kept in good condition. Store items in labeled bins by size. This approach can nearly eliminate the need to buy new baby clothes or toys after the first few children (aside from replacing worn-out items). For school supplies, buy during back-to-school sales in bulk (you’ll eventually use 10 sets of pencils, notebooks, etc.). Some large families even swap goods with other large families – e.g., trading clothes or toys their kids have outgrown.

4. Budgeting and Tracking: It’s important to have a detailed family budget. Track your expenses to identify where the money goes and where you can cut. You might categorize by child for some expenses (to ensure, say, one child’s extracurricular activities aren’t monopolizing funds at the expense of others) or by category (food, utilities, etc.). Use spreadsheets or budgeting apps. Planning ahead for big expenses is crucial – for example, holiday gifts for 10 children can add up, so save gradually through the year or set a modest gift budget per child. Likewise, if you intend to help with college, consider starting college funds early or encourage kids to seek scholarships, because doing that ×10 is daunting (some large families simply cannot pay for all kids’ college and instead emphasize scholarships, financial aid, or starting at community college).

5. Income and Career Considerations: Supporting a large family often requires a stable and sufficient income. In many cases, one parent becomes a full-time stay-at-home caregiver (to avoid enormous childcare costs – day care for 10 kids would be an astronomical figure, easily more than most salaries). The other parent may need to earn more or work longer to compensate. Some families have both parents working and rely on tag-teaming schedules or help from relatives, but be cautious: burnout is a risk if parents are working around the clock and then coming home to ten kids. Finding flexible work arrangements can be a lifesaver. Some large family parents start home-based businesses or side hustles for extra income (blogging about large family life, running an Etsy shop, freelance work that can be done at odd hours, etc.). Also consider the benefits of jobs – a job with good family health insurance or one that provides tuition discounts (if one parent works at a university, for example) can indirectly save a lot. In the SBS story of an Australian family with 10 kids, the parents mentioned they have three jobs between them and carefully manage their funds so the kids never lack basics . Hard work and multiple income streams are common in large families.

Tax Benefits and Government Assistance

The U.S. (and many other countries) provide some financial relief to families with children, which can scale up when you have ten kids:

• Child Tax Credit (CTC): In the United States, the federal child tax credit can significantly reduce your taxes. As of 2025, the CTC is up to $2,200 per qualifying child under 17 . A family with 10 children could theoretically get a $22,000 reduction in federal taxes each year, if their income is below the phase-out thresholds (the credit starts phasing out above $400,000 for married couples). The CTC is partially refundable too – even if your tax bill is $0, you can receive up to $1,700 per child as a refund (Additional CTC) . In practical terms, large families with moderate incomes often get thousands back via this credit, which can be a huge help. Note that tax laws change, so stay updated on credit amounts or any limits (currently there’s no limit on number of kids for the credit; each child qualifies).
• Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC): For lower-income working families, the EITC provides a refundable tax credit that increases with each child up to a certain number. The maximum EITC typically is for 3 (or more) children – having 10 won’t increase it beyond the 3+ kid cap, but it still can be substantial (over $7,000 at the max). Ensure you claim all your eligible credits at tax time, possibly consulting a tax professional familiar with large families.
• SNAP and WIC: If your income is low relative to family size, government nutrition programs can help. SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, formerly food stamps) provides monthly funds for groceries, and the benefit amount rises with each additional family member. A family of 12 with limited income could receive a significant allotment to buy food. WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) is a program for pregnant/nursing mothers and young children (under 5) that provides specific foods (like formula, milk, cereal, etc.) and nutrition support. With many small children, a family might qualify for multiple WIC vouchers (each child under 5 plus the mom, if applicable). These programs have income cutoffs, but the larger your household, the higher the income threshold – for example, a family of 12 can earn more than a smaller family and still qualify due to the size adjustment.
• Medicaid/CHIP: Healthcare for 10 kids can be daunting. If employer insurance is too costly to cover everyone, children in lower-income large families might be eligible for free or low-cost health coverage through Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Each state has different cutoffs, but again, the thresholds adjust for family size. Alternatively, some large families opt for healthcare sharing ministries or high-deductible plans to reduce monthly premiums, but make sure you have something – medical bills from one incident can wreck finances, especially multiplied by many kids.
• Child Care Assistance: Government child care subsidies (vouchers) exist in many states for low-income working parents, but realistically, very few could cover child care for 10 kids. Most likely one parent will stay home as the economically sensible choice. However, if you do have childcare costs (perhaps for a couple of the youngest ones), look into Dependent Care Flexible Spending Accounts (if your employer offers it) or the federal Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit, which can give some tax credit for childcare expenses (though it also maxes out at a few children).
• Education Assistance: Large families might benefit from public education (free schooling) rather than private specifically for financial reasons. If you choose private schooling for many kids, ask about sibling discounts – many private or parochial schools offer reduced tuition for additional children (for example, full price for the first, 10% off for the second, etc., and sometimes a family maximum cap). Also, having many college-aged kids can increase need-based financial aid eligibility in those years (colleges consider number of family members in college when awarding aid). Some states offer scholarship programs or grants for families, so research local options.
• Other Assistance and Discounts: There are miscellaneous benefits to large families that can save money. Some states had or have specific credits (for instance, historically some states gave small tax exemptions per child – these have largely been supplanted by the federal credit). In terms of community help: food banks, clothing swaps, and nonprofit programs can assist if you find yourself struggling to provision such a large household. Culturally, some religious communities are very supportive of large families (offering meals, hand-me-downs, etc.). On the flip side, note that certain welfare programs impose “family caps” (limits on benefits after a certain number of children, to discourage having more while on assistance). For example, a few U.S. states implemented rules that you won’t get additional cash TANF benefits for a new baby if you’re already on welfare. It’s something to be aware of, though these policies have been debated and repealed in some places.

Big-Family Budget Hacks: In addition to the above strategies and programs, here are a few quick hacks that veteran large families often share:

• Plan meals that are inexpensive and nutritiously dense (e.g., use beans, lentils, pasta, rice to stretch meals; make water the main beverage – skip costly sodas/juice except on occasion).
• Use libraries and parks for free entertainment; a library card can yield books and movies for all ages at no cost.
• For vacations, driving trips or camping might be more feasible than flying (imagine 12 plane tickets!). Some large families invest in an RV or camper, which, after the upfront cost, allows more affordable travel with a huge family.
• Embrace DIY and upcycling – handcraft decorations, fix things instead of replacing, and enlist the kids in projects (which doubles as free family fun).
• Teach kids about money early. In a big family, kids need to understand that money is finite. Many large-family parents involve older kids in budgeting exercises or give them jobs/chores to earn pocket money, so they learn to save for what they want. This not only helps the family budget (you won’t be buying ten cell phones and ten cars for ten teenagers if they know they have to earn luxuries themselves) but also instills responsibility.

Financially, raising 10 children will likely require sacrifice and planning, but it’s done by families across various income levels. As one large-family dad said, “we ensure our 10 kids never want for anything” by working multiple jobs and budgeting diligently . Also, keep perspective: while the aggregate cost is high, a child doesn’t need as many new things or expensive experiences when they have nine siblings to play with – a lot of entertainment is “in-house.” Many big family parents reflect that the memories and love in a large family far outweigh the riches they might have had with a smaller family. Nonetheless, wise financial management is what keeps that love flowing under a stable roof with food on the table.

5. Education and Schooling

Providing education to ten children is a complex task that can take many forms. Parents must decide between public schooling, private schooling, or homeschooling – or even a mix – and consider logistics like helping with homework, attending school events, and ensuring each child gets the support they need in their learning. Below we explore the schooling options and how large families navigate them:

Public or Private School Logistics

Public School: Many large families opt to send their kids to local public schools, which have the benefit of being free (aside from taxes you pay and incidental fees). Public schools can accommodate multiple children across different grades, but the logistics can be challenging. If your children span a wide age range, you might have some in elementary, some in middle, and some in high school all at once. This could mean different school locations and schedules. Transportation is a key consideration: Will they ride the school buses? (If available, school buses can simplify your life greatly – you won’t need to drive 10 kids to three schools every morning.) In rural areas without buses or if you prefer to drive them, be prepared for a complex carpool routine. Some parents of many kids do a “school run” circuit: dropping off at one campus, then the next, etc., taking an hour or more each morning. Coordinate with the schools to align pickup/drop-off times if possible; sometimes schools can help if they know a family has many siblings (e.g. allowing an older sibling to pick up younger ones from their classroom).

Public schools often have events like back-to-school nights, parent-teacher conferences, school plays, etc. Multiply that by 10 children and it’s literally impossible to attend everything. Prioritization and dividing duties is key. Parents may split up events (“you go to the older two kids’ conferences, I’ll go to the younger ones’”) or attend alternately. Communicate with teachers via email or phone to stay informed when you can’t be physically present. With a large family, it’s also important to be aware of each child’s academic progress – some might need extra help in a subject. It can be tough to give each kid focused homework help every day, so one strategy is to set up a homework hour where all school-age kids do their homework at the dining table at once. Older siblings can sometimes assist younger ones with assignments (this not only helps the younger child but reinforces the older child’s knowledge). In fact, large families naturally create a mini “tutoring system” – an older child might listen to a younger practice reading, or quiz them on spelling words. Still, be careful not to overburden older kids with parenting tasks (more on that in Parenting Logistics).

Private School: Some families consider private schools (including religious schools). The personalized attention and smaller class sizes can be appealing, but cost is the big drawback. Tuition for one child can be substantial; for ten, it’s usually prohibitive unless you have a very high income or financial assistance. Check if the school offers multi-child discounts. For example, a Catholic school might cap tuition after a certain number of kids or offer 50% off for the 4th, 5th child, etc. Even with discounts, though, educating 10 kids in private institutions is akin to paying for college ten times over. There are large families who manage it – often through scholarships, the parents working at the school (some schools offer free tuition for staff children), or help from their religious community. But generally, private school is rare for very large families due to cost. If it is your choice, involve older kids in understanding the sacrifice – maybe they help by doing work-study or the family forgoes expensive vacations to afford tuition.

One compromise is selectively using private schools for certain children who might particularly benefit, while others attend public. For instance, if one child has a special talent (say a music academy or a special-needs school is better for them), parents might invest in private education for that child and not the others. Large families often learn to be flexible and not necessarily have a one-size-fits-all schooling approach.

Extracurricular Activities: Schooling isn’t just classes – it’s also sports, clubs, music lessons, etc. Here, a large family must balance opportunity with practicality. You likely cannot enroll all ten kids in three different activities each – it would consume all your time and money. Some families set a limit like “one sport or activity per child at a time” or have kids take turns (some do soccer in fall, others in spring, etc.). Carpooling is essential: connect with other parents to share rides to and from activities, because you can’t be in ten places at once. One mom of 10 noted that coordinating all the kids’ sports and school events is a full-time job and she keeps a giant wall calendar with each child in a different color to track it . Embrace digital calendars or apps if they help, and don’t be afraid to sometimes say no to activities if they overcomplicate life. It’s also okay for kids in a large family to not do every extracurricular – remember, they’re getting daily social interaction and life skill training just by being in a big family. Many will still participate in things they love, but perhaps not as many at once as an only child might.

Homeschooling a Large Family

Homeschooling is an attractive option for some large families because it offers flexibility and the ability to tailor education to multiple children without the formal logistics of school schedules. However, it is also a significant undertaking to educate 10 children at home.

Pros of Homeschooling for Large Families:

• You set the schedule. Homeschooling can be done at the times that suit your family’s rhythm (important if you have babies/toddlers in the mix who disrupt a typical schedule). It also means no daily school commute – a huge time saver when loading ten kids into a van.
• Siblings can learn together. You can teach certain subjects to multiple kids at once. For example, you might do a group history lesson or science experiment with all the school-age kids, then give age-appropriate assignments. This “one-room schoolhouse” approach leverages the range of ages: older kids can help explain concepts to younger ones, and younger kids absorb more than you’d expect from being around older discussions. A homeschool mom of 10 explained that many of her kids are on similar levels and “usually play well together and enjoy the same things,” which helps their learning feel like a shared activity .
• Individual pacing. With homeschooling, each child can go at their own pace. In a big family, you might have some very advanced learners and some who need extra help. You can accommodate both without anyone feeling held back or left behind, since you’re not juggling 30 kids like a classroom teacher – you’re focusing on your ten, who you know deeply.
• Family bonding and values. Homeschooling allows imparting your family’s values, religion, or cultural education in a consistent way. Many large families choose it for this reason (for instance, certain faith-based large families, like conservative Christian or Orthodox Jewish communities, favor homeschooling or private religious schooling to instill their beliefs across their many children).

Challenges of Homeschooling 10 Kids:

• It is extremely demanding on the teaching parent’s time. You are essentially running a small school. To be effective, organization is critical. One large-family homeschool mom advises encouraging kids to be independent learners as much as possible – an older child can do some work on their own or with minimal guidance, freeing you to work with younger ones . Setting up a daily routine or shifts can help; for example, the Rogers family (with 10 children) reported that “book work gets done in shifts during early morning and afternoon” around their household schedule .
• Juggling multiple grade levels. You may be teaching a high schooler algebra while simultaneously teaching a first grader to read, and keeping a preschooler occupied with crayons – it’s a lot. Many homeschool curricula providers offer combined lesson plans for multiple ages (unit studies that have modules for little kids through teens on the same topic). Utilizing such curricula can lighten the planning load. Also, older kids can partially self-teach using online programs or video lessons for certain subjects.
• Little downtime for the parent. Unlike sending kids to school where you have hours to work or manage the home, if you homeschool ten kids, you are “on” all day. It can be rewarding but also exhausting. Some families designate a quiet time in the afternoon where everyone, even mom, takes a break (older kids read independently, younger ones nap or have quiet play) to give the teaching parent a breather.
• Extracurricular opportunities need to be sought out. Homeschoolers need social outlets – though with 10 siblings, your kids won’t lack company! Still, you may want them to join homeschool co-ops, sports leagues, or classes like music which you can’t easily teach. Coordinating those is again a logistical task, but many areas have robust communities of homeschool families that organize group classes, field trips, and events. Plug into those networks so your children have friends beyond just siblings and so you have support (maybe trading teaching duties with other parents for certain subjects).

Hybrid Approaches: Some large families use a mix – for instance, homeschooling during elementary years, then sending kids to high school when advanced subjects get tougher to teach (or vice versa). Others enroll kids in online schools or virtual charter schools (which provide a curriculum and sometimes teacher support, done at home). With ten kids, you might even have some in school and some homeschooled at the same time, depending on individual needs. For example, if one child has special needs not well met at the public school, you might homeschool that one, while the others attend school. Flexibility is your friend.

Higher Education: While not exactly “schooling” of children, it’s worth mentioning college planning. In a family of 10 kids, you could end up with multiple kids in college simultaneously. Encourage strong academics and SAT/ACT performance for scholarship potential. Also, discuss realistic plans with your kids: you may not be able to fully fund college for all, so they might need part-time jobs, student loans, or to start at a community college then transfer. Some large families emphasize that college is not the only path – trades, entrepreneurship, or other careers are equally valued, especially if college debt would be crushing. That perspective can reduce pressure if paying for college ten times over is not feasible.

Summary of Schooling: Whether you send your ten children to school or teach them at home, organization and prioritization are key. Expect that you won’t be able to be a class mom or attend every field trip – and that’s okay. Communicate with teachers about your unique situation; many will be understanding if, for example, you can’t send cupcakes to every class party or you need flexibility in scheduling a meeting. If homeschooling, connect with other large homeschooling families for tips – they may have systems for rotating chores to free up teaching time, or using online resources for certain subjects. Education is one area where having older kids can eventually help lighten the load: older siblings might read to younger ones or help quiz them, creating a collaborative learning environment at home. One parent humorously noted that having many kids means by the time you teach the youngest to read, you’ve taught phonics so many times you’re practically an expert. Indeed, practice makes perfect – by the 10th child, you’ll have a wealth of experience in navigating school systems and curricula, which can make you quite the education pro (or at least a frequent flyer at the school principal’s office!).

6. Parenting Logistics

The day-to-day logistics of parenting a supersized family can be complex, but large families often develop a well-oiled system to keep the household running. Key aspects include managing time, enforcing discipline and rules, assigning responsibilities (chores), and securing childcare help when needed. Here’s how savvy parents handle the logistical side of life with 10 kids:

Scheduling and Time Management

With so many people under one roof, routine is your best friend. Children thrive on consistency, and parents of large families survive by it. Establish daily schedules for wake-up, meals, homework, chores, and bedtime. For example, you might have a morning routine where everyone is up by 7 AM, breakfast done by 7:30, then out the door for school; evenings might include a set dinner time, a homework hour, then a bedtime routine starting at 8 PM for younger ones. Of course, flexibility is needed (unexpected events or illnesses will throw any schedule off), but having a baseline structure prevents chaos. One mother of ten stressed that in her house, having routines is critical – downtime or unexpected events can create chaos, so they strive to stick to a plan .

A practical tool is a central family calendar. Whether it’s a big wall calendar or a digital shared calendar, use it to record everyone’s appointments, activities, and important dates. As mentioned earlier, some moms color-code each child on a giant calendar so that at a glance they know who needs to be where on a given day . Older kids can be taught to check the calendar themselves to know the day’s plan. In the morning, you might do a quick huddle: “Here’s the schedule today – John has soccer at 4, Mary has a dentist appointment at 3,” etc. This prepares everyone and reinforces teamwork.

Time management also means coming to terms with the fact that you simply can’t individually supervise every child every minute. Encourage independence in age-appropriate ways. For instance, toddlers can learn to put on their own shoes (even if on the wrong feet sometimes), school-age kids can pack their own backpacks or make simple breakfasts, and teens can manage their own schedules with minimal prompting. One tip from large family parents is to pair a younger child with an older “buddy” for certain parts of the routine – say, an older sibling helps a kindergartner tie their shoes or helps a preschooler brush teeth. This not only saves the parent a step, but also fosters sibling bonding and responsibility. (However, be careful that older children are not parentified to an unhealthy degree – more on that below in Shared Responsibilities.)

Efficiency hacks are vital: for example, some parents lay out clothes for each child the night before to streamline mornings, or they might prep dozens of sandwiches on Sunday and freeze them for easy lunches throughout the week. Laundry can be a monster in a family of 12 – one family reported running 3 loads of laundry a day on average . You might assign specific laundry days to certain kids or have communal laundry with a sorting system. The key is to not fall behind, or Mount Washmore (that pile of laundry) will become unmanageable.

Also schedule one-on-one time in small doses. It might sound odd to schedule love, but with ten kids you have to be intentional. Perhaps take one child grocery shopping with you as a little “date,” or have a rotation where each child gets to stay up 15 minutes later on a special night to chat with Mom or Dad alone. These little pockets of individual attention go a long way in making each child feel valued when direct parental time is a limited resource divided by 10.

Discipline and Family Rules

Disciplining ten children requires a blend of consistency and fairness. It’s impractical to run your household with an iron fist on every minor misbehavior – you’d be scolding someone every second. Instead, many large families focus on big-picture rules and values, and let the small stuff go. For example, you might have non-negotiable rules like “no hitting,” “no lying,” and “respect each other,” with clear consequences if broken. For smaller infractions (messy rooms, yelling, etc.), gentle reminders or natural consequences often suffice. Pick your battles wisely; safety and respect are worth enforcing strictly, while things like a child wearing mismatched socks might not be worth a fight when you have a million other tasks.

A unified discipline approach between parents is important – with so many kids, if one parent is strict and the other lax, the inconsistencies will be magnified. Present a united front so kids know the expectations and that they can’t get away with mischief by going to the “easier” parent. It helps to have family meetings occasionally to review rules or address recurring issues. In a large family, you can even use positive peer pressure: often the older kids set the tone. If they model good behavior, the little ones tend to follow. Conversely, if an older teen is acting out, younger sibs might mimic that, so it’s important to address issues at the top.

Some large families implement a chore and behavior chart or a reward system (sticker charts, etc.) especially for the younger kids. But one challenge is giving out consequences consistently – you can’t ground five kids at once and expect your household to function! Creative discipline can help: for instance, assign extra chores as a consequence for misbehavior (this not only corrects behavior but also gets something done). Time-outs can work for younger ones as a cooling off. With many children, you might frequently encounter sibling conflicts. Encourage them to resolve disputes among themselves when appropriate – it builds conflict resolution skills and saves you from playing judge for every squabble. One family rule might be “Work it out or everyone involved gets the same consequence,” which motivates siblings to negotiate and compromise instead of running to Mom or Dad for arbitration over every argument.

Importantly, avoid always using the older children to police the younger. While it’s natural for older siblings to sometimes enforce rules (“Don’t do that, Mom said no”), the primary disciplinarian role should remain with the parents to prevent resentment. However, older kids in large families do often take on a mentorship role – an oldest sibling might gently scold a younger for dangerous behavior, for instance, and that can actually be effective because little ones look up to big sibs.

Overall, a sense of teamwork and respect should underpin discipline. Many big families talk about instilling in their children that “we’re a team, we help each other, and that includes behaving well so we can all live together peacefully.” If one person’s behavior is negatively impacting the whole family (e.g., one child throwing a tantrum that derails a trip), you can frame the correction in terms of how it affects everyone (“We all want to go to the park, but we can’t leave until you calm down. Let’s work on that, so we don’t disappoint everyone.”). This perspective can sometimes resonate more in a large family dynamic.

Shared Responsibilities (Chores and Jobs)

Running a household of 12 is far too much work for one or two adults alone – everyone has to pitch in. Assigning chores to children not only lightens the parents’ load but also teaches the kids responsibility and life skills. Even young children can do simple tasks, and older ones can handle quite advanced chores.

Many large families establish a chore system. This could be a chart on the wall that rotates tasks weekly, or fixed responsibilities assigned to each person. For example, you might assign one child as “table setter” for dinner, another washes dishes (or loads the dishwasher), older ones take turns cooking simple meals, someone takes out trash, others handle pet care, etc. One mom of 10 noted that every child has responsibilities appropriate for their age – the oldest might help with meal prep and occasionally babysit a younger sibling, while the little ones “help” by picking up toys, feeding pets, or folding small laundry items . The motto is often, “Our family only functions if we work as a team” . Indeed, teamwork is key: each person’s contribution, however small, helps the whole household run smoothly.

A successful strategy is to train children on chores one-on-one until they are competent, then gradually let them manage it. For instance, an 8-year-old can learn to do laundry with supervision and by 10 could be fully in charge of the laundry for certain days. Teens can be responsible for mowing the lawn or making a simple dinner one night a week. One large family dad shared that in their house, older kids handle some cooking and younger kids tidy up toys and do basic cleaning – every bit helps .

Chores can also be tied to rewards or allowance if you choose. Some families pay a small allowance for completed chores, which kids can save for their own spending (nice because the parents can’t afford to buy each child lots of extras). Others simply expect chores as part of being in the family, with the reward being things like screen time or outings. Find what motivates your kids. Interestingly, in big families, chores can actually be a point of pride – a child might feel important because they are “in charge” of feeding the dog or because they mastered cooking a meal for 12.

Another aspect of shared responsibility is siblings caring for each other. In large families, older kids often do assist in watching younger ones – and this can be very beneficial as long as it’s not excessive. Called the “buddy system” by some, you might pair each older child with a younger “buddy” to look out for. For example, an older buddy makes sure their younger sibling gets buckled in the van, gets their lunch packed, etc. This system was popularized by some well-known mega-families. However, be cautious not to over-rely on your older children as co-parents. It’s important they still get to be kids themselves and not feel that the younger siblings are solely their responsibility. A mother of 10 (Courtney Rogers) addressed this common concern, noting that for many years, she and her husband did the majority of care themselves even when they had 7 under age 6, because the older ones were still very young – only now that her eldest are preteens do they occasionally help with things like pushing a stroller or a grocery cart . This shows that while help is nice, parents should adjust expectations to their kids’ maturity levels and ensure no one is overwhelmed.

Finally, involve children in the management side as they get older. Perhaps a teen can be “tech support” for the family devices or help create the grocery list. Empower them to take ownership of some tasks. It not only helps you but also prepares them for adulthood. One large family reported their teens even help devise the meal plan and cook once a week – a great life skill and a break for Mom .

Childcare and Outside Help

No matter how well you train your kids or how efficiently you schedule, there will be times you need extra hands. Two parents to ten children is a high ratio, especially when several are too young to be self-sufficient. Here are some ways large families handle childcare and relief:

• Staggered Ages = Built-in Babysitters: Eventually, if your older children reach late teen years while you still have little ones, they can occasionally babysit. A 16-year-old can watch the 5 younger siblings for an evening while parents go on a much-needed date night, for example. This depends on maturity and willingness – not all teens are comfortable managing that many at once, but some are very capable. Do ensure it’s not always the same teen missing out on their social life to care for siblings; maybe offer them some payment or reward, and don’t overuse it to the point of breeding resentment. Used judiciously, having a responsible older teenager in the house is a huge asset (and frankly, by the time you have ten kids, odds are you will have a teen when you still have a toddler).
• Family and Friends: Grandparents, aunts, uncles, or close friends can be lifesavers. If you have extended family nearby, they might enjoy taking a couple of the kids for a special outing occasionally (reducing your load by a few for a day). Even splitting the group helps – e.g. a friend takes the older kids on a hike while you focus on the babies for an afternoon. Don’t hesitate to accept offers of help. In many cultures, large families operate within a larger kin network that shares childcare duties. If that’s available, tap into it. If not, perhaps form a babysitting co-op with other parents: you take their kids one day, they take yours another.
• Mother’s Helpers / Nannies: Depending on finances, consider hiring help. A “mother’s helper” is often a younger teen or college student who comes to your home to assist while you’re there (playing with toddlers, folding laundry, etc., for a few hours). They are cheaper than a formal nanny and can be very useful, especially when you have many little ones underfoot. For families with sufficient income, a part-time or full-time nanny could be employed – essentially an extra adult to share the work. With ten kids, even an extra set of hands 10–15 hours a week can relieve stress. Some large families also hire help for specific needs, like a housecleaner to come do deep cleaning once a month, or a meal service occasionally – anything to alleviate the workload.
• Overlap and Zone Defense: If both parents are around (e.g., evenings or weekends), you can play “zone defense.” Divide the kids between you – maybe one parent handles the older kids’ homework and the other does the bedtime routine for the younger ones. Or one takes the kids who need baths while the other cooks dinner with a couple helpers. Divide and conquer is a common theme; rarely will all 12 of you be conveniently doing the same thing together except maybe eating or traveling. And that’s fine.
• Training Kids to Wait/Help: In a big family, children learn that parents can’t attend to everyone immediately. Teaching patience is a form of indirect childcare management – e.g., if you’re changing the baby’s diaper and a toddler wants juice right now, they may have to wait a few minutes. Over time, they get used to these dynamics. Also, siblings help occupy each other: your 8-year-old can read a story to the 4-year-old, keeping them busy while you deal with something else. This kind of sibling caregiving is informal but invaluable; it’s part of the reason some parents say more kids can be easier in certain ways because they entertain and support one another.

Meal Times and Bed Times: These daily “childcare” moments deserve mention. Mealtimes with 12 people can be chaotic – but routine and assignments help (one pours the water, another serves plates, etc.). Some families eat in shifts if the table is small, but ideally having everyone together is nice (just maybe invest in a really big table!). Bedtime can resemble an assembly line: you might bathe younger kids two at a time, have the middle ones get in PJs themselves, older ones help read bedtime stories to littles, etc. It’s an “all hands on deck” time of day. Yet, many large family parents cherish bedtime rituals as a chance to get individual face-time – even a quick goodnight kiss and check-in with each kid can be done if you stagger bedtimes a bit (for instance, littles to bed at 8, middles at 8:30, older ones at 9:30, giving you small windows with each group).

One mom of 10 reflected that despite the challenges, “each new baby we bring home fits right in, as if they’ve always been there” – highlighting that over time, the family adapts and every child finds their place in the system. Parenting logistics in a huge family might sound like running a small daycare or even a business, but the truth is, as kids grow and systems take hold, it often runs surprisingly efficiently (albeit with plenty of noise!). The household becomes a little community where everyone has a role.

7. Legal and Cultural Considerations

Having a very large family can come with some external considerations – from legal regulations (in certain contexts) to societal attitudes. While there’s no law against having 10 children in the U.S., there are a few legal nuances worth noting, especially if your path involves adoption or assisted reproduction. Culturally, large families can draw both admiration and criticism, so being aware of societal attitudes helps in coping with public reactions or support systems.

Legal Considerations

• Family Size Laws: In the United States, there are no laws limiting how many children you can have biologically. Policies like China’s famous “One-Child Policy” (which from 1980 to 2015 restricted most urban families to one child) do not exist in the U.S. or most Western countries. In fact, China itself has loosened its rules – it now allows up to three children, though having ten there would be extremely unusual and might invite scrutiny or fines under local regulations beyond the third child. In the past, some jurisdictions (like certain states in India) debated laws to discourage having more than two children (usually by linking it to eligibility for government jobs or aid), but in the U.S. there’s nothing of that sort. Bottom line: you won’t get in legal trouble for having a large number of kids, as long as you care for them properly.
• Reproductive Technology and Surrogacy Laws: If you use IVF or surrogacy to grow your family, be aware of legal guidelines. IVF clinics in the U.S. follow professional guidelines on embryo transfers (to avoid cases like the Octomom). There’s no law that says “you can only have X children via IVF,” but doctors will strongly advise against risky multiple embryo transfers. Surrogacy is legal in most U.S. states, but a few states historically banned commercial surrogacy contracts (e.g., Michigan and Nebraska long had bans on paid surrogacy ). As of 2025, Michigan changed its law to permit surrogacy agreements, leaving very few jurisdictions with outright prohibitions. However, the enforcement and ease of surrogacy still vary – some states require court orders to establish parental rights, etc. If pursuing surrogacy, work with a qualified attorney to ensure all contracts and parental rights are secure, especially if doing multiple surrogacies.
• Adoption and Foster Care Regulations: This is one area where legal limits on family size do appear. As discussed earlier, adoption agencies and state laws may limit placements if you already have a large number of children. For instance, some states won’t allow you to adopt if it would make more than 6 or 8 minors in your home . Internationally, countries like China, India, and South Korea set caps on how many existing children adoptive parents can have . If you dream of adopting many children, research these restrictions early so you aren’t caught off guard. In foster care, similar rules exist for how many kids (bio or foster combined) can be in one home; plus each child must have adequate space and supervision per licensing standards. Also, note that a few U.S. states have implemented what’s informally known as “family cap” in welfare: they do not increase certain welfare benefits for additional children born while the family is already receiving aid. This doesn’t stop you from having kids, but it means if you rely on TANF cash assistance, for example, child number 10 might not bring any extra money, whereas child 1 did – it’s a policy designed (controversially) to disincentivize larger families on public assistance.
• Education Laws: If you homeschool, ensure you follow your state’s homeschooling laws (notification, record-keeping, etc.). If your children attend school, truancy laws require they actually go – having a gaggle of kids is not an excuse for any to miss too much school. Also consider guardian designations in case something happens to you and your spouse – it’s wise for any parents, especially of many kids, to have a will that names who would care for the children if needed (though convincing someone to take on 10 might be challenging, it’s crucial to have a plan).
• Housing Codes: While there’s typically no enforcement on family size in a private home, extremely overcrowded conditions could draw the attention of child welfare authorities if it’s deemed unsafe. For instance, if 10 kids were crammed in one small bedroom without proper beds, that might violate housing standards or be considered neglect. Realistically, as long as your children are healthy and the home is reasonably safe and clean, having many in one home is fine. If you rent, very large families may face landlord discrimination (some landlords have occupancy limits like “no more than 2 persons per bedroom” which with a family of 12 means you need a 6-bedroom place). Under fair housing laws in the U.S., landlords can enforce reasonable occupancy limits, and refusing to rent to a family because of size is a gray area legally – it could be seen as indirect discrimination. Be prepared to advocate for your family when house-hunting (or better, pursue owning your home if feasible to avoid this issue).
• Financial/Tax Legalities: We covered tax credits; to legally claim them, ensure each child has a Social Security number and that you’re following IRS rules (for example, you can’t claim a child as a dependent if they’re not actually your child or if someone else is already claiming them; in divorce situations, coordinate with ex-spouses on who claims which kids). If you employ childcare help, you may need to follow “nanny tax” laws if you pay over a certain threshold.
• Parental Duties and Neglect Laws: With many kids, outsiders might wonder if you can properly supervise them all. It’s important to know that legally, you are responsible for each child’s welfare. If a child gets into trouble or is found unsupervised and in danger, authorities won’t accept “but I was busy with the others” as an excuse. This isn’t to scare you, but to emphasize that part of managing a large family is ensuring none of the kids fall through the cracks in terms of basic care. There have been cases where extremely large families were scrutinized by social services, especially if there were accusations of neglect (sometimes unfairly due to misconceptions). To protect your family, maintain good living conditions and be prepared to explain your family management to teachers, doctors, etc., so they see that the kids are indeed taken care of. For example, make sure each child gets their medical check-ups – a pediatrician who sees all ten are up to date on vaccines will have confidence in your parenting, whereas if some kids are never seen, it might raise flags.

In summary, legally the U.S. leans towards personal freedom in family size, with a few constraints mostly in the context of adoption, housing, and ensuring child welfare. Always do due diligence when expanding your family through legal processes (courts for adoption, contracts for surrogacy, etc.), as the paperwork can get complex when you’re doing it many times.

Societal Attitudes and Cultural Factors

Culturally, having ten children is far from the norm in modern America. Expect that your family will attract attention everywhere you go. This can be positive – many people are fascinated or charmed by big families – or negative, as some may judge or make snide comments. Let’s break down what to anticipate:

• Curiosity and Intrusive Questions: You’ll likely hear the same remarks over and over. Common ones include: “Are they all yours?!” (Yes), “Haven’t you heard of birth control?” (rude, but you might hear it – one mom of four recalled that exact comment implying “are you crazy?” ), “You have your hands full!” (often said with a smile), “Do they all have the same father/mother?” (people can be very nosy about this), and “Better you than me!”. One mother of ten joked about the awkward questions, writing a list of responses like: “Yes, they are all ours. We know how they were made. Amazingly, there are no twins. Yes, we do own a TV,” etc. – poking fun at the clichés people throw at large families. It helps to have a sense of humor. You don’t owe strangers your life story; often a polite smile or a quick one-liner can suffice. Over time, you may develop a thick skin and even a repertoire of witty comebacks for those who are impolite.
• Positive Reactions: On the flip side, you will also meet people who are delighted by your big family. Older folks might reminisce about times when large families were common and say things like “It’s wonderful to see big families nowadays!” . Some will praise you: “You’re so blessed” or “I could never do what you do – you’re amazing!” It can be nice to hear encouragement. Your children might often be complimented for being well-behaved in public (if they are) simply because expectations for a large group of kids are sometimes low, so when they don’t wreak havoc at the grocery store, onlookers are impressed. These positive cultural responses can reinforce to your kids that having many siblings is something to be proud of, not hide.
• Negative Stereotypes and Criticism: Be aware of common criticisms: “irresponsible breeders” – some people think having so many kids is irresponsible either financially (they assume you can’t afford them and are burdening taxpayers) or environmentally (due to overpopulation concerns). Overpopulation was a big narrative in the late 20th century; large families started to be seen by some as eccentric or even selfish post-1960s . You may encounter folks who lecture about the carbon footprint of 12 people or the world’s resources. Ironically, others worry about population decline – there’s a split in public opinion. Figures like Elon Musk publicly encourage bigger families to combat low birth rates, whereas environmentalists encourage smaller families to reduce consumption. Recognize this is a debate in society, and you as a parent don’t have to justify your personal reproductive choices to every stranger. If someone makes a snide overpopulation comment (“Haven’t you heard there are too many people in the world?” ), you could respond with facts (e.g., “Actually, our family might consume less per person than smaller families – we share resources efficiently”) or simply say, “We believe our children are a gift, and we manage just fine, thank you.”

Another stereotype is that children in large families are neglected or raise each other. Some might insinuate you can’t possibly give enough love or attention to each kid. That can sting, because of course you love them all deeply. It might help to note examples of well-adjusted large families or even your own family’s outcomes (e.g., if your older kids are polite, happy, doing well in school, that speaks for itself). Ultimately, the best way to counter negative views is to let your family be a positive example. When people see ten smiling, healthy kids who are polite in public, it challenges their assumptions.

• Community and Cultural Support: In certain communities or cultures, large families are more accepted or even encouraged. For instance, devout religious communities (traditional Catholics, Mormon (LDS), some Muslim and Orthodox Jewish communities, and the Christian “Quiverfull” movement) often view children as blessings and have higher-than-average family sizes. If you’re part of such a community, you may find ample support – neighbors or church members might help with meals, the community likely has other big families who can relate, and your lifestyle is understood. In other cultural contexts, you might stand out more. In urban cities where cost of living is high, having 10 kids is extremely rare, whereas in some rural areas or certain regions (like parts of Utah or Amish country), it’s less shocking. So, the cultural reception can vary by geography and subculture.

Globally, attitudes differ too. Some countries are actually trying to boost birth rates – for example, Russia revived a Soviet-era award, the “Mother Heroine” title, to honor women who have 10 or more children (with a monetary bonus when the 10th child turns 1) . That’s an example of a pronatalist culture praising large families. In contrast, countries like Japan or Italy (with very low birth rates) might be surprised simply because it’s so uncommon, but not necessarily disapproving. In many developing countries or historical contexts, large families were normal and even economically necessary. So while in modern U.S. culture you might feel like an outlier, remember that having lots of kids has plenty of precedents – you’re just a bit old-school!

• Media and Public Perception: Large families have been the subject of reality TV shows, which can influence public perception. Shows like “19 Kids and Counting” or “Cheaper by the Dozen” (fiction) bring both curiosity and critical eyes. People might ask if you’re going to start a show or they might jokingly call you “the Duggars” or “the Brady Bunch” when they see you all together. Take it in stride. Not everyone will realize that real life is not TV – you might want to keep a lower profile for your children’s privacy and safety. Be mindful of what your kids share on social media, too; unfortunately, large families can attract online attention (both fans and trolls). It’s okay to set boundaries – you don’t have to answer every personal question in public, and you can politely decline when acquaintances prod too much.
• Support Networks: Seek out other large families for camaraderie. There are online forums, local homeschool groups, or faith-based groups where “moms of many” swap tips and provide moral support. They understand the unique joys and trials, and it feels great not to be the odd one out sometimes. Your children too may enjoy friendships with other kids from big families; they won’t feel weird that they have to share bedrooms or wear hand-me-downs if their friends do the same.

In conclusion, culturally you may sometimes feel like you’re swimming upstream in a society that views 2-3 kids as normal. But attitudes are not monolithic – many individuals will celebrate your family with you. Focus on the positive reactions and cultivate a support circle. For the negative nellies, develop a thick skin and remember why you chose this path. Your family’s happiness is what matters, and often after people get over the initial surprise, they see the love and fun that radiates from a big family and that can win them over. As one mother of ten advised, “People will criticize or comment about your large family, but try to learn to ignore it or laugh it off” . Indeed, the best answer to “Why would anyone have ten kids?!” might just be to smile and say, “Because we love them all – and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”

8. Inspirational Real-Life Stories

A modern large family of twelve poses together.* Large families often form a close-knit team, full of love, organized chaos, and shared responsibilities.*

Nothing illustrates the possibilities and rewards of raising 10 children better than hearing from families who have actually done it. Here, we profile a few real-life large families and highlight their insights on thriving with a big brood.

The Loving Chaos of the Jones Family (10 Kids, U.S.): The Jones family describes life with ten children as “like hosting a birthday party every day – but the guests never leave.” In other words, it’s perpetually busy, loud, and celebratory in their home. The mother, Jane, was an only child herself and always dreamed of a bustling house full of kids . She and her husband encountered challenges along the way (she suffered from hyperemesis in pregnancy and postpartum depression) , but they persevered. Jane admits that meeting everyone’s emotional needs can be hard and parental burnout is a real risk . Her solution has been to set boundaries and practice self-care, carving out a little time for her own mental health so she can be there for her kids .

In terms of logistics, the Jones family runs on organization. They maintain a giant wall calendar to juggle school and sports schedules, with each child marked in a different color . Routines are crucial – deviations can descend into chaos. Even so, spontaneity happens (sickness or surprise events) and when it does, the family flexes together to adapt. Jane jokes about the scale of their household tasks: “the laundry alone is a colossal undertaking” and the dishwasher runs three times a day, every day . On an average day, they go through two boxes of cereal and a gallon of milk at breakfast . Rather than get overwhelmed, they’ve turned these into fun statistics that everyone in the family is proud of – it’s part of their identity as a big family.

Financially, the Joneses live comfortably but budget consciously. The father’s good job means they aren’t struggling, yet they still have to be mindful – for instance, their grocery bill is about $3,000 a month, comparable to a mortgage . To manage costs, they meal plan strictly and get creative with recipes to stretch ingredients . They cannot say yes to every extracurricular activity for each child; sometimes a kid has to forego an expensive activity because it wouldn’t be fair to others or affordable for all . The children learn the family’s limits and appreciate the opportunities they do get.

Despite the intense workload and planning, Jane highlights the blessings of a large family. “Hands down, the best part is seeing the relationships and bonds develop between our kids,” she says . There’s always someone to play (or squabble) with, and the older ones mentor the younger – she notices the little ones pick up both good and bad habits from their elders quickly . Holidays in their home are magical (if a lot of work), and every birthday or achievement is amplified by the whole team cheering you on. They emphasize teamwork: “our family only functions if we work as a team… all the kids, oldest to youngest, help out” . Each child has chores appropriate to their age, from the teens cooking meals to the toddlers picking up toys. This not only keeps the household running but teaches responsibility daily. They’ve also learned to be extremely resourceful – hand-me-downs are standard, nothing in the fridge goes to waste, and fancy outings are rare, which makes them more special when they happen . Jane has also learned to “not sweat the small stuff.” With ten kids, the house will be messy and you won’t be invited everywhere (since bringing a dozen people isn’t always feasible for others), but she focuses on the big picture and lets minor things go . Her bottom line: “I can’t imagine a more extraordinary accomplishment… Of course it’s hard and I make mistakes, but whether you have one or 12 children, we can all agree that parenthood is HARD and AMAZING.” Her journey shows that big families run on love, resilience, and a sense of humor.

The Rogers Family (10 Kids Under 12, New Mexico): Courtney and Chris Rogers have a uniquely rapid-growth family: they had 10 children in about 10 years, including one set of twins, making for many very young kids at once . Courtney, 35, is a stay-at-home mom and her husband a pastor; both hail from large families themselves (she’s one of 6, he’s one of 10) . This background made a big family feel natural to them. Courtney’s pregnancies went relatively well (aside from one emergency C-section and a premature twin delivery) , and she actually enjoyed being pregnant for the most part . Still, having so many little ones simultaneously was intense: at one point, she had 7 children under age 6, and multiple kids in diapers. “Having multiple kids in diapers, babywearing and pushing a double stroller…taking a lifetime to get everyone out of the house is ‘normal’ for me,” she says lightly . Her perspective is that when that’s all you’ve ever known, you adapt and it feels normal – a powerful testament to human adaptability.

The Rogers use a large van (15-passenger) to get around , and Courtney is a big believer in scheduling: “Meals, naptime, and bedtime are predictable around here,” she explains . They homeschool their children, which allows flexibility. She does school “book work” in shifts – early mornings and after lunch – to accommodate caring for the younger tots in between . Housework is a challenge she candidly struggles with: “With so many littles there’s always a mess,” Courtney says, “we ALL do our part to clean up… even my husband, and any ‘extra’ chores my children do, they get paid for – which they love, since it gives them spending money for treats or activities.” . This shows a smart system: routine daily chores are expected, but extra tasks can be turned into an opportunity for kids to earn their own fun money, teaching them work ethic.

For the Rogers, the joys are abundant. “Life is truly a party at times,” Courtney says, describing the excitement around Christmas, birthdays, and family trips . Many of the kids are close in age and thus at similar developmental stages, which means they play well together and enjoy the same activities . There’s a built-in gang for games and adventures. She also notes something interesting: “believe it or not, in some ways it is easier the more children you have.” After a certain point, each new baby just slots into the family structure without drastically changing it. The older children already know the drill and help maintain the household rhythm when a newborn arrives. “Each new baby we bring home fits right in just as if they’ve always been there,” she reflects . This sentiment is echoed by many large family moms – the first few children might have been the hardest adjustment, and beyond that it felt incremental.

Courtney does acknowledge the outside world’s comments. She’s heard the criticisms about large families relying on older kids as mini-parents. In her case, because her kids were all so young for so long, the older ones couldn’t help much until recently – it was primarily on her and her husband to manage. Now that the oldest are entering preteen years, they do small helpful tasks (like pushing a sibling’s stroller or grabbing an item in the grocery store), but she emphasizes that “not everyone does things the exact same way” and they haven’t heavily parentified their kids . Her advice to anyone considering a large family: make sure both spouses are fully on board and ready to work hard as a team . It’s crucial that mom and dad share the vision and the labor, otherwise resentment can build. And importantly, tune out the critics. “People will comment, but try to ignore or laugh it off,” Courtney advises . She has no regrets: “Do I ever regret the choice to have a large family? Nope. They’re all so unique and make me laugh in so many ways. How could I pick and choose just a few [to have had]?” . Her fulfillment is evident, as is her belief that each child is a treasured member of the family.

Other Notable Large Families: Around the world, numerous families have navigated life with 10+ kids. For instance, the Soliola family in Australia has 10 children (and one on the way!) and gained attention for going against the trend in an era of low birth rates . They juggle three jobs between the parents to support the family and say sometimes even they don’t know how they manage – but they credit understanding kids and strong faith . Their older children describe always having company and built-in friends as the best part . In the UK, the Radford family has an astonishing 22 children (Britain’s largest family), and they showcase their life on YouTube – from massive grocery hauls to birthday marathons. They run a family bakery business to make ends meet and highlight that it takes entrepreneurship and all hands on deck to thrive at that scale. Their ethos, like many large families, is focusing on love and fun amid the chaos.

From these stories, a common thread emerges: big families thrive on teamwork, love, and a sense of humor. The parents who successfully raise 10 or more kids are adaptable, organized, and don’t shy away from hard work. They also emphasize intangible benefits – the bond between siblings, the lively home atmosphere, and the personal growth children experience by being part of a large unit. As one large-family parent summed up, “Sure, there are days it’s exhausting and you feel like a failure, but then there are days you feel so proud and blessed.” The journey has highs and lows, but the families who choose it celebrate the richness it brings to their lives.

Sources: This report has incorporated information and direct insights from a variety of sources, including expert analyses on family planning and costs, first-hand accounts from parents of large families, and relevant data from government and adoption agencies. Notable references include articles like “What It’s Like to Be a Mom of 10 Kids” and “This Mom With 10 Children Shared Her Parenting Wisdom” , along with statistical reports on the cost of raising children and adoption regulations . These sources provide a factual backbone and real-world context to the guidance above. Each cited piece, from NIH recommendations on pregnancy spacing to firsthand budgeting tips , enriches the understanding of what it takes to have and raise ten children in today’s world.